hello Bworld! (like twitter ‘tworld’?) get it? no? I’ll stop then.
Like I said, until I post again…Buuuuut I’m here once again.
An intriguing conversation I was having a few months earlier with a friend of mine.. She asked me a simple question…
“Do men of today think of marriage?”
I gave her that long “are you fucking kidding me?” look.
There are like 10 weddings per square kilometre simultaneously every weekend(Fridays) that cause traffic jams that contribute to the loss of nearly Kshs. 50 Billion…The events front here is a multi-million shilling industry. If you want shabby looking, shirt shining, CD play-backing “bonoko” version of Kayamba Afrika..or fiesta, or salsa, They are sooo there!
Tents, seats, catering..I even heard there is a “dial-a-pastor” (citation needed)..I mean there’s money to be made here!
And you ask me if men of today wanna get married?
Clearly like a 5year old sugar high kid in class…I was hearing, but not even close to listening.
“Last year(and previous years) this guy was binging mad and chipoing almost every weekend…or salary weekend..save for Easter and the whole december. Come 2012 and the guy’s met that mami special..and now he wants to get on bended knee and tie the knot by dec…”
My first reflex thought that came out of my mouth was…’JEALOUS!!’ And that was returned by a slap. Actions speak louder than words. I guess she was heartbroken that he might have….um..how do i put this.. entered many car dealerships before picking on a car after numerous….NUMEROUS test drives.
Well, I’m a young guy..23 to be exact…And I’m not thinking remotely of tying the knot. But if I rewind back to me and my sis growing up, she had always fantasised about her wedding dress, reception, the works..If I do give comparison of what she was thinking back then, it would be the equivalent of a reality show with more viewership than jerseyshore, Keeping up with Kardashians and that housewives of sijui Atlantic city or is it texas combined.
And I digress… So, I finally got light into her query. It had even started with me..
I have never thought of my ideal wedding.
NOT Like that….I mean it has crossed my mind, usual exchanging of rings and of course wedding night..with Gabrielle Union….see what I mean? as in there isn’t any serious thought at all.
Now..why does a man suddenly wake up one morning and goes like ; Must…get…MARRIED…?
I hate to say this…actually I’m ashamed….
I think a number of guys have been forced into it..Now before you put me on a stake and let me burn, let me add on..these same men have been very coward-like..scratch that…very cowardly into admitting that they wanna be boys..or forever young men. And especially not to sire any offspring.
And that’s the other thing…
I love kids…kids love me…It would be nice hearing hearing that Shrieking voice of “daddieeeee!!” throughout the house for days….
Executing the task? hapo ni kunoma I say! I’ll take a rain check…
Now if you’re a parent, and a loving one at that…You once thought like me. so lets save those thoughts and energies for reading on..that’s if you wanna.
For those who get cowed into submission by a woman or family into Holy matrimony end up being a divorce statistic that eventually mustered up the strength to say that they cant be living a lie..or picked miss right in haste….or in cases..made a run for it(quite literally)
And then we have those who have that certain body clock inside that tells them “It is time.” in Mufasa’s voice. Now get this right, in most cases, unlike his timid counterpart, has rarely been influenced into decisions and knows what he wants, only bit is is that he’s reluctant to the idea, but his body’s pulling all the right moves to moving outta the stable. Eventually he settles into the idea.
and we cant forget the man raised with all the traditional and moral values in check, but finds marriage being a liability from the start, until he has his serious, buy-me-an-island kinda money. And also mental preparedness.
From these I’ve listed, I realise I don’t even fall near any of those categories.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get married. Or meet with that special person. Why don’t people just consider civil partnerships? marriage should not be abused as it’s been done today. And if it’s marriage, you best be ready. Coz it can be a sinking ship from the moment it leaves the harbour.. these grand ceremonies have sometimes gone to waste.. i mean, spending 2.5million shillings on your dream wedding only to file for divorce 3-5years down is pathetic. My grandparents have probably been married for about 50-60 years, and no, there wasnt anything lavish about their wedding.
So when I hear “He is going bankrupt, I cant take this anymore, He isnt paying attention to me, lalalalalalal!!”
if anyone married for 30+ years tells you about marriage, they will tell you such days will come, and they will be many. oh, and I’m saying this to both parties. I’m not chauvinist.
Before I go on and on after digressing too many times I’ll say this: The institution of marriage should not be forced upon and one does not simply rush into it. Men in depth are different, but on the general are alike. So thinking about marriage is a thought that crosses all our minds. But now there are those men in today’s world, with all their varied reasons and factors considered, have decided to give it a much deeper thought than the other, and thus the individuality.